Thursday, July 19, 2012

How Did We Get Here?

When we first inquired about Claire, we learned that no adoption file had been prepared for her.  They didn't expect her to live.

As we discussed options with our social worker, we had to decide whether to keep trying to adopt Claire, or choose another one of the thousands of children waiting.  We couldn't bear the thought of Claire never having a chance for a family of her own, but it was not an easy decision. 

We could write a letter to the orphanage director saying that we wanted to adopt Claire and requesting that a file be prepared.  That might seem pretty straightforward.  But for those who haven't walked this path, let me explain.  The file contains details about mental and emotional health.  It lets you know what you might expect so you can decide if it is something you can deal with or not. 

(It would be fun to pretend that a family can just love a child no matter what, but that isn't reality.  Some can deal with a child that will always need a feeding tube.  Others can't.  Some can cope with a child who will never be able to use the bathroom on their own.  Some can't jump into that scenario.  Some see no issues with a child who will never walk, and some don't see how they could get past it.  God has created us all with different strengths and weaknesses.  That is why adoptive parents are asked to carefully and honestly evaluate what they can do, and agencies work hard to make good matches.)

If we sent the letter, we would be going in almost blind.  We would be giving a promise to adopt a child we had no official information about.  All we knew were the public bits of her story from New Day's website.  

We prayed and asked ourselves so many questions.  Did God bring Claire into our life?  Do we believe she is the child He has for us?  Did He just use her face and story to get us to stop dragging our feet and start the process so He could introduce us to a different child?  What if we say yes and her problems are too big?   

Do we trust Him?

 Do we trust Him?

 Do we trust Him?

In a somewhat shaky step of faith, we decided to keep working toward Claire's adoption for as long as it took, or until God clearly closed the door tight.  If someone else adopted her, it would be a closed door.  If the orphanage director chose not to complete the paperwork, it would be a closed door.  But, we would do all we could to make sure Claire had a chance at a family—whatever the details of her file might say.

We wrote the letter.


  1. So thankful that you wrote that letter! :)

  2. Mandy, You were a huge part in helping us with that decision. I can't thank you enough for talking with us and sharing your experience with Claire. You helped us love her before we really new anything about her!