After days of some pretty huge emotional lows, self-doubt was hitting hard. What in the world am I doing adopting again when I'm 52 years old? Why am I adopting an older child when I truly know how difficult that can be?
Enter God's voice to override all my fears.
Wednesday night renewal was titled "The Miracle of Adequacy."
Based on the story of Elisha in II Kings 2, Chip explained that Elisha was feeling inadequate when faced with a new task. Elisha was wondering if he could do the thing God was asking him to do. He was feeling intimidated and inferior. Wow! Did that ever sound familiar!
Chip went on to describe three miracles that validated Elisha. The Miracle of the parted waters affirmed that God was indeed with him. God had called, and God's presence would go with Elisha.
I heard God remind me that He would be with me moment by moment. I don't have to understand everything now, or even be able to make sense of it. God is going with me. His presence, not a better me, is what I need.
In the second miracle, God turned the unclean water pure. He restored life to the region and people who were wasting away. Elisha didn't make much of himself. He waited on God, and God worked through him to do the impossible. God brought joy where mourning had been.
I heard God remind me of our desire to make His heart visible and to glorify Him through this adoption. It is about His glory. So, it is His responsibility. I just need to wait on God, and He will do the work that needs to get done. Even the impossible things. My feelings may be right. I may be totally inadequate for this task. But that doesn't matter. God is sufficient. I need to turn my full attention toward Him and watch to see what He is going to do! I'll watch Him bring joy.
The third miracle demonstrated how God validated Elisha in front of his enemies. The bears put a stop to the hecklers. Elisha didn't need to defend himself in front of the people challenging God's call on his life. He just turned it over to God and moved on.
I heard that I don't need to stop and listen to the ugly words coming from people who really don't know us. Words that say things about our first adoption "failing" or that remind us that some of our kids are "prodigals" are not words I need to defend myself against. God knows our hearts and actions. He knows that many things are beyond our control and that kids make their own choices. All I need to do is keep walking forward into this new calling and let God handle the people who speak painful words.
I'm so thankful for the affirmation this message brought.
God wants to use me— an ordinary, stay-at-home, aging woman with lots of feelings of inadequacy—because He does His work through ordinary people.
God's presence in me will be adequate for the task He has given me. He will make me the mom I need to be to take care of this precious child He loves. After all, He has been taking care of Claire for 8 years without my help. He isn't about to let me mess things up!
|God's hand has been on Claire through everything!|
"'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty." (Zechariah 4:6)
"But we have this treasure. in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." (II Corinthians 4: 7-9)