I Think I'm Getting Tired

Day 11

Had battles with Claire over eating breakfast.  She kept poking me with her chopsticks if I tried to talk with Kelly at all.

Difficulties with getting dressed, washing face, combing hair.  Her strong will is showing up in a big way. 

I know she was confused by all the packing up.  She didn't really get what was happening.

Her first plane ride this morning, and she refused to look out the window.  Of course, if we had thought to tell her NOT to look out she would have.  She is just that oppositional sometimes.

(For some reason I'm having trouble with pictures tonight.  They are taking forever to load and I can't get them to go where I want...so I'll just let them all go here in the middle.)

In the lobby.  A fish pond with live Bird of Paradise and other flowers growing.  So beautiful.

Tried fresh coconut juice to drink with our supper tonight.  Pretty funny.

Claire thinks this hotel has to be America.  It is pretty nice.  Hope she won't be disappointed when her home is a little less lavish.

First plane ride.  Going from Taiyuan to Guangzhou.  She wouldn't look out the window.

Amazing bathroom with deep tub and 3 different showers to choose from.  The window has remote control shades if you prefer to bathe in private.

Other times she is very sweet.  She as been sitting in my lap voluntarily and making much better eye contact.  She holds my hand once in a while, without pulling away.  She even voluntarily kissed me on the cheek while I was tucking her into bed.  If anything melts away frustration, that will.

It is hard to listen to her repeat the same annoying phrases over and over and over expecting me to respond the same way again and again.  Lord give me patience as she learns the language and figures out how to engage with us in appropriate ways.

She resists her medicines.  It usually takes two of us to get her still enough to administer anything.  Once we get home, discipline can start to happen more consistently.  Right now everything is so difficult that we mostly rely on holding her hands and distracting her to keep her under control.  I sure miss getting to eat without having to remove all the utensils and cups to a safe distance, and without having to leave the moment you finish or else Claire will pull of a tablecloth or turn over a teapot.

I totally know that she is confused and afraid and under enormous stress.  Regression is normal.  Testing is normal.   Right now she is acting very much like a 2 year old...just a very tall two year old.  

The funny part about today is that our hotel in Guangzhou is extremely nice.  The area around us is beautiful, with flowers, clean streets and fancy stores.  She keeps insisting that we are now in America.   Won't she be surprised!

I need to get some sleep.  I'm praying that God will restore me with an extra dose of patience for tomorrow.  I surely am not wise enough to handle this little one on my own.

I wonder how often I'm the one repeating inane questions and refusing to hear the answers, or insisting on my own way when God's plan would be so much better.  I think I'm probably a lot more like Claire is right now than I'd like to admit. I have so much to learn about trusting and obeying my heavenly Father...and about relating to Him in appropriate ways.  Maybe Claire will be the method He uses to grow me in those areas, even while He helps her learn those things from us.