Making God's Heart Visible: Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back

Day 14

We had to be ready to go get the TB tests read at 9:30 this morning. Our first battle was that Kaichen did not want her hair pulled back. I insisted because she drags it through the food and when you are eating at a buffet and in a crowed dining room, no one wants her hair in their space. She made it abundantly clear that I am supposed to let her have her own way all of the time, and if I don't she will be very angry with me. Oh well, I can handle anger, and she needs to start learning to submit to authority.

After getting the TB test read, our adoption group went to the zoo. The heat index was hitting 105 degrees and it was less than fun. We did enjoy the pandas. Kaichen only wanted to see the giraffes, so as soon as our obligatory group ride on a small cart around the main exhibits ended, we hoofed it for the giraffes. Of course, they were at the very back of the zoo, and she didn't want to walk anymore after seeing them.

There was a man selling balloons and Kaichen wanted one. He was in your face about it and actually put the balloons into children's hands while the parents were telling him to go away. She was not happy that she didn't get a balloon but we promised one later. She didn't forget all afternoon.

After the zoo, we stopped at a restaurant for a group meal ordered by our guide. It was a good variety of Chinese food, but I've been feeling a little queasy since then. Not sure if it was the food, or if I just got too hot being outside all morning.

While I played with Kaichen in the hotel, Kelly hoofed over to Trust Mart to get more diapers...and of course, balloons. He did a great job of finding some that look like a rabbit, a caterpillar and a little blue man.

We spent a little time in the outdoor pool on the 4th floor. Kaichen was nervous in the water, but got better about resting in my arms and jumping when holding on to me. She finally walked a little on her own. She slipped and fell. Instead of just standing up, she just sat there under the water waiting for rescue. I was right next to her and pulled her up quickly, but it was so weird to see her wait rather than move a muscle to help herself.

We went for Thai food tonight. Got some good noodles again. Most noodles in Guanzhou have been disgusting compared to the noodles of Taiyuan. I also got some sort of turnip and egg dish that was a nice change. Kaichen had dumplings, too.

For the second night in a row, she just sat in her chair and peed. She never asked to go to the bathroom, even though I know she can ask clearly because she often does. She stood up and tried to brush the puddle off the chair when we were getting ready to go. When we told her to leave it, she put her hand in her mouth.

Okay, Karen Purvis, or some other adoption guru, how do YOU handle this? I think my voice lost that gentle, playful tone and my eyes weren't saying loving things at that moment.

All while we walked back to the hotel and while I was showering Kaichen and washing her clothes (pull-ups only stem the tide when an 8 year old is filling them), I kept thinking that she may not have any idea what it feels like to have to go.

Her nannies took her to the potty on a schedule. The kids were lined up in a row and went one after the other when it was "time." The night nannies told us they got her out of bed at night so she wouldn't wet. They also kept her in diapers a lot. She was always wearing diapers when we were there visiting. And, the awful rash in her diaper area indicates that she wore those diapers more often than our visit. (Good news is that that ugly, raw rash is almost entirely gone after only a week of keeping her clean and dry!)

She has asked me to take her potty often. However, as I think carefully, I see that she asks when she is bored, or tired of waiting for something. Or, she says she has to go potty when asked to do something she doesn't want to. I'm wondering if she has ever asked me to take her to the potty because of an actual need to go?

I can't wait to get home where I have a washing machine and don't have to eat every meal out. Then we can work on this problem.

Well, I don't suppose anyone but a handful of moms our there will appreciate this post about potty issues. I guess I'll post a few pictures from today and get to bed so I can do a better job of keeping my eyes smiling tomorrow.